This Is It

30 days from today (quick Knot check...yep) I'll be married.

I was out on a job survey yesterday for City Hall Norfolk. There was this very nice older lady there who somehow found out I was getting married.

"You know? Thirty years and he's still my best friend."

Of all the horror stories We both have heard of older couples pretty much falling apart, it's good to hear one of those every now and then.

I feel like it's game time. You can prepare for only so long (believe me...we have) before it's finally time to get in there and just do it!

Some helpful advice we have received...

•  Communicate- Even when you don't want to/it's difficult. Do not assume your spouse does/should just "know" what you are thinking.

• Love sacrificially- The more you pore yourself out for your spouse, the better.

• Let others in- Contrary to a pretty scary common belief, marriage doesn't mean you hang up your other friendships. Maintain outside relationships. Falsely believing your spouse is all you need in life is essentially placing them as God in your life....That never works in the long run. 

• The importance of accountability- Invite an older wiser couple into your lives to ask how things are going and suggest what can be approved.

• Heat of conflict- If the only goal of your argument is to be right, you've already lost. Couples who have eachother's best interest at heart will MOST of the time (not always) be open to the opposing side's point of view.

•  Don't stop trying- Keep doing the things that won your spouse over before you were married. These things are still necessary.

• Don't try and copy another couple- God created you two uniquely and individually. 

There's A LOT more but these are some good one's I thought apply well to most people. Not to mention the individual guy/gal advice...really, God has (as always) hooked us up with His wisdom to avoid the pitfalls that our sinful human nature naturally draws us towards.

This will be my last post before our marriage. I have been  forbidden requested to not tweet/facebook/blog/email/messenger pigeon the world about our honeymoon until afterward :) I couldn't be more excited...Thank's to God for hooking me up with this awesome woman!!!!!

Dishes

So I am really enjoying the system of chores we are beginning to setup at the future Coleman household.

To start, I HATE cooking...hate. To me, it is possibly the worst of all household duties. I'm not sure why I feel this way about this particular task. Cooking is to me what satellite internet is to it's consumers. Frustrating and pointless.

God knew this when he hooked me up with Jen. She loves to cook....with a passion. The things she creates will make your mouth wish it had two tongues to taste with....It's that good.

The system we have worked out now is that She will cook, and I will do the dishes. I love this system! I've done dishes growing up, and at my first job. No stranger to the task. A reoccurring thought-theme that has been grabbing my attention lately during this process is...well, the actual process itself. I don't know if you regularly, or ever, washed a dish in your life but there's a clear set of priorities when doing so...

The inside of a dish HAS to be clean. Sure, the outside does too, but if you had to choose between cleaning the outside of a dish and cleaning the inside you would clearly pick the inside to be clean. It's used over the outside of a dish and thus...more important. Special attention and more effort is used (atleast for me anyway) when cleaning an inside of a dish then the outside.

It makes me think of how much I focus on what I want others to see in my life. At times I am overly focused on the impression I want perceived...Consciously and purposefully saying (and subtly implying an impression I want others to think) phrases, words, and quotes I know will be received a certain way. It's surprisingly easy and addictive. All in the guise of caring about reputation even.

While I feel it is important as a Christ-follower to have a reputation of love for others, It's all to easy to clean the outside of my dish very well. While what's truly important (godly character, godly wisdom, my view of priorities) remains unclean. I did not invent this concept...

Matthew 23:25-26
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.


This entire chapter warns of hypocrisy. Christ is especially upset with those who represent God to those who do not know Him.

I feel God cares little of what I present to others, and very much with what is the overflow of my heart. That is what He pays special attention to. Who I am as a character shows through what I do, and will ultimately be what is on the outside...If that makes sense.

He also actually starts working on the inside first. It is said God changes from the inside out and I believe it! I am ridiculously thankful for the years God has convicted me to change a particular thought-process or habit in order to improve my character. What I see avoided more and more among my peers is the willingness to subject one's self to discomfort with the understanding that it ultimately leads to a result for the better. (guilty.) I suppose it's human nature to put too much emphasis on the process of refinement then the result of it. A star combatant of this is the example of this god-like refinement in God's word, and in God's people.